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April 2001
– Page 38

It Was in My Power
by Lyreen A.

I wanted to share a story with you about the passing of my Omma (grandmother). It was the fall of 1994 and my Omma had been in and out of the hospital by now. She had had minor heart attacks and generally been failing in health for the last few years. The rest of the family and I had been wondering how long it was going to be before she finally let go and moved on to the next plane.

It came to me around September, out of the blue, what was keeping her here. I felt that she needed to see me happy and looked after. I was with my ex-boyfriend at the time and I knew that as soon as I introduced them, my Omma would be gone within a week. I didn't know what to do. How do you explain to your family that as soon as she meets your boyfriend she has one week to live? I kept trying to put it off as long as I could because I was not ready to let her go. I waited until the end of November to bring my boyfriend to meet her. It was a last-minute decision on the way back from a trip to the US. We went in to see her and she was feeling the best she had in a long time. I remember the look on her face when we were there: she was happy and at peace. We left and continued home.

I worried the whole next week (our visit was on a Sunday) and didn't tell anyone what I knew. The following Saturday she went back into the hospital and was doing very poorly. I went out that night to go and visit with my boyfriend and my mom said she would call me if any thing happened. On the way there I felt something - a presence of sorts - with me in the car and I knew it was over. It was like she joined me or left. I started to sing and when I got to my boyfriend's house I was telling him that my mom was going to call. She did as I was telling him. I was crushed and very sad but I had all this time to prepare for it and never did. I have told my mom since but she feels it was a coincidence. I know what went on and I am still convinced that her passing was in my power and control. It still is with me sometimes.

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