I would like to relay a death premonition I had as a child, regarding my older brother. When I was six my oldest brother was 16. We were very close, in fact, he was more of a parent to me than a sibling.
Just before Christmas that year (1968) my family went to my brother's high school to watch his band's Christmas concert. There, in the high school auditorium, sitting in the dark, listening to the band play, something happened.
The best way to describe it is to say DEATH entered into my dimension. Even though I was so young, I remember so much about it, even small details like the purple velvet drapes covering the auditorium walls.
One moment everything was fine. I was slightly bored, squirming in my seat, hoping the concert would be over sooner than later. The next moment a dark, heavy feeling came upon me. It was overwhelming. I didn't know what was going on. Nothing obvious had happened, but something powerful and tragic had... I just didn't understand.
From that moment, I KNEW something horrible was going to happen. Something that would change my life forever and in an awful way. I also knew it had to do completely with my big brother. I remember sitting there in the dark, silently crying, tears rolling down my face. I also remember being careful that no one else (especially my mother) saw what was going on with me.
I knew if my mother saw the tears she would wonder and ask me why I was crying and I didn't know how to answer that question. My limited vocabulary would have made what I was feeling impossible to express. (And my mother was not one to accept no answer.) So there I sat, in the dark auditorium, staring at those velvet curtains trying desperatly to understand what was going on and wanting the "feeling" I was experiencing to go away.
Over the next two weeks, I spent as much time with my brother as possible. As I said before, he was more of a parent to me, so I usually spent most of my time with him, but this was different. I was obsessed with having him in my sight, following him like a shadow.
I would have probably told him, but once again, I lacked the words or even the understanding to express my feelings to him. I would panic anytime he left the house and be so relieved when he came back home. But the whole time, the heavy horrible presence never lifted.
A week into the new year I was woken up by our pastor's wife instead of by my brother which was the usual. The moment I opened my eyes and saw her next to my bed instead of my brother I KNEW he was gone and I knew he would never be back. That dark feeling was also gone, replaced with a different feeling, one of total grief and remorse.
I remember being very defiant with our pastor's wife. When she asked me what clothes I wanted to put on, I told her, "Billy dresses me each morning... I will wait for Billy to come in and get me dressed!" I was saying these things to see what response they would get from her because I knew the reason she was here was because Billy wasn't. After dressing me, she took me downstairs where I and my three other brothers met with our pastor and he told us that Billy had been in a car accident the night before and was no longer with us.